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theragnarokd:

enbycrip:

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[ID: a text message exchange:

Sender: Are u Tim?

Recipient: picture of a frog, followed by, “Tim I am not. Frog have I got. Happy I be. Frog unto thee. Frog has been shared. None shall be spared.”

Sender: I found Tim, your number and Tim’s number differ by only one number

Recipient: Tell me of Tim, his number append, and to his phone a frog I shall send.

end ID]

missmacfire:

vexwerewolf:

xeansicemane:

prokopetz:

“Isn’t it weird that [thing humans commonly eat] is poisonous to literally every domesticated animal” I mean, there’s a pretty good chance that [thing humans commonly eat] is at least mildly poisonous to humans, too. One of our quirks as a species is that we think our food is bland if it doesn’t have enough poison in it.

Humans have a really weird mix of mundane superpowers.

We’re not fast and don’t have a lot of natural weaponry but we’re bizarrely tolerant to a broad range of toxins to the point that one toxin is considered a morning necessity for some to perform at work. Gotta love us.

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